The Aidan Report:
He is larger every time I pick him up, and more beautiful (as though that were possible). One of my more recent epiphanies happened on waking him up and watching his ritual of hugely satisfying full body stretching, yawning, eye rubbing, and lip smacking as he decides whether or not to join in this rather odd experiment called wakefulness.
I realized I'll never be able to think again that a small person like him is primarily an expression of potential. He is no more or less "in potentia" than I am at 36 years. He is FULLY and exactly complete at his current size and capacity. He doesn't just smile at me because I smile at him, in order to pattern behavior and learn to relate. He gives it thought, regards me at some length, smiles or doesn't as he sees fit, and is simply affab
le most of the time, despite his varying frustration at not being able to do what he would like given his current skill set. Just like me.So we find our way through our days together, occasionally feeling rather vague on the whole concept. Not because he doesn't speak English yet or because I have to wipe his butt. Not because I have promoted myself to the level of my own incompetence and tend to wander under the load of stuff that needs doing. We're just muddling through because we are muddlers- same puddle, different leg length.
I still can't get what feels like enough time with him. Lisa works five days and always wants for more.He's had his first more or less solid food, as we've begun to add rice cereal to his breast milk and occasionally some banana puree.
The results have been a bit gassy but he seems to find the additions quite tasty. A certain amount of staying awake, walking back and forth more than before, and waking to sudden and surprising (for everybody) outcry is certainly just par for the proverbial course.
In the end, so to speak, nothing is wrong that can't be cured with a certain amount of fist chewing and cheerful
ly gratuitous consumption of anything within reach. The crawling everywhere has not begun yet but the leg strength to stand on his own is only lacking balance for him to be up and running.So here I sit, writing this entry, while working for Richard Page of Conference Recording Service (he hires ABC and I lead and support during recording gigs) as the Pacifica Graduate Institute hosted Tribute to Marion Woodman progresses.
I feel estranged, as if often the case, from this group of people doing their conference thing.
Most of all I miss my sweet one and my boy, as I sneak in a bit of dissertation writing and monitor my recording decks. Is all this middle class, wealthy gathering and saying portentous things important? Probably. Will I do it some day and have the same misgivings? Looks like it. I wonder what it would be like to radically change course and depart from what I have always thought should be desirable/useful/deservng of appreciation? I could remove my bow tie and dress shirt, blow off the inflated plans I have for myself, and just wake up in the morning to a workday and a family to appreciate. Why not?
Other than the love of a certain special woman, what more is needed than this?
| posted by Unknown @ 2/17/2006 07:18:00 PM
Right.
The Plan: blog regularly.
The reality: wait way too long, dump too much at once.
Possible series of blogs (voted most likely to generate huge quantities of material):
The Plan: blog regularly.
The reality: wait way too long, dump too much at once.
Possible series of blogs (voted most likely to generate huge quantities of material):
Things I'm Doing Instead of Writing My Dissertation
by Brandon WilliamsCraig abd
My beloved sister-in-law, Nicole has a new and excellent job at Ozumo, it looks WAY upscale and
full of itself, which is perfect for serious bucks. GO, Nicole!
Yet again I want to shoot Registerfly and take my business somewhere else. I hate the dilemma pitting
the agony of being treated like recyclable fodder against the work required to move to a new URL registry provider.
Talk about devil's bargain for cheap DNS. I'm having to go back through and re-do all my email forwarding settings
which were my anti-spam defense and I can't tell if all messages to me will get through because they appear to have
removed "catch-all" email service from the free things they provide. They are amazingly good at offering a bunch
and then making each thing that was free cost as they go forward. The idea is to make acquiescing to being
progressively ripped off (time spent making them correct mistakes including multiple "accidental billing," re-tooling
work already done, and money spent on newly costly features) less effort that leaving.
The cellular market is the same business model and no better.
Can it be (a source that must remain nameless suggests) that the month of May could see Cingular finally transfering
our account as-is (instead of insisting on new contracts, fewer minutes for what we are paying, and no benefit for
being customers for five years) and only require us to buy new handsets? I've contacted Verizon and priced Sprint
and it doesn't look pretty.
| posted by Unknown @ 2/17/2006 06:45:00 PM
My sister, Meghan, and ...BO WIGGLY !!!
Serious wiggly being in progress, and FINALLY we have an image!
Not so much kicking but a whole party going on in there.
They had a an ultrasound and it should come out to be only one person.
"Keepin, Party of One?!" | posted by Unknown @ 2/12/2006 06:24:00 PM
