On May 30, 2007 I wrote:
About being unpromoted from Yondan in San Diego.
The following arrived, parallel to phone calls along similar lines, by email...
Some but not all names have been removed, just because.
hard to know what else i could usefully add in written words since they are not my forte. i look foreword to the time we can speak and listen and i can share my feelings thoughts and ideas. and my experiences at ukiah aikido which i think a relevant here.
loving you
hugging you
missing you
You know what I believe Brandon? It was not the time for you to be able to perform at your best. I can only look at the mental disruption I suffered for years after Brooks left. My concentration and interest in anything but reconstructing my whole life was almost zero. I know everyone has their own way of healing and you have your way. I fully believe that your heart and mind would not allow you to proceed forward in Aikido at this time. There is so much to reconstruct in your belief system and your perspective on life, in general, that no matter how hard you attempted to deflect it with other thoughts and focuses, your heart would not be drawn away from the work that has to be done.
I felt a very clear feeling the first time I saw you at the Dojo that you were a very elevated and spiritual person. It was so clear to me that I asked Kayla who you were and told her what I saw in you. She confirmed my perception. In a way, the fact that you are so evolved spiritually may make your healing different than most and maybe longer . If you are anything like I am, and was, at the beginning of my healing, some very fundamental ideals and expectations were blown to smithereens. It's the faith and belief that all things happen for a good reason that has carried me through. It is a blind and bold faith that has to ignore long ponderings and questions about everything. Eventually I believe you and I will both understand the big question.....Why. Since there is really no time in the universe, who knows when that will happen.
In my case, when I realized after years that I didn't have to know the truth about my son's departure....the why....because the trees, sky, wind, plants, wild animals all know....God knows.......the truth is very well known......when I need to know I will know. The same is true for you and your wife. You will know and understand when it's appropriate... no sooner, no later. I believe that just as this loss is the worst trajedy a parent can endure, it's also the supreme gift of all. The day Brooks died I had feelings that ranged from complete and utter implosion to a feeling of absolute honor and awe. I was so sad that I couldn't be there with him at this poignant time in his life, but I knew he was a very strong man who preferred it that way. I wouldn't be able to tell him how much I loved him or goodbye. That's a seering pain that is still healing.
Aidan's photo is on Brook's photo in my home. I think of him every day and have asked Brooks to be there for Aidan. I believe he is.
In reality, the way things went last weekend with your test is very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When you have healed sufficiently, you will move forward. Keep going Brandon. "Never, never, never give up". Continuing to live, grow, understand and accept is the lesson. It's easy to do when you aren't dealing with a loss like this. Now is your real test, not last weekend. You are a tremendous example for your son and anyone who knows you. We need you here. Grieve, love, and thrive. Love,
I am sure you are all still overwhelmed by the crazy blow of what happened down in San Diego with Brandon's demo. My jaw certainly hit the floor! So I wanted to put out there, for the record, how I felt hearing about it. (and Brandon, don't get all shy; I'm going to say nice things here ;)
I have to say that I think Brandon's response to this phenomenally unfair turn of events was so courageous, so full of class and grace, and so exemplifying of the highest ideals of aikido that I think he should be promoted TWO levels, not just the one. And I'm not being facetious. This was a life-size randori of extraordinary proportions (to say nothing of the chaos practice of life in general!) and he handled the assault of it with such openheartedness and wholly undeserved generosity of spirit. To get back on the mat and engage with such grace and presence; it was a rare and truly admirable thing.
And furthermore, as I understand it, these are the essential issues one looks for in evaluating depth of understanding at this level of aikido, not the technicalities of how you step or how you hold your arm that the panel seems to have gotten so worked up over.
I also want to put out there how very much I appreciate his contribution to the dojo. Not only do I appreciate the patience, clarity, sensitiveness and nuance of his teaching and training, but I really find it transformative just to be on the mat with him. The quality of presence and mindfulness that he works hard to bring has been really healing for me personally in terms of training through not only the moves of aikido itself, but the deeper emotional and interpersonal issues that the training stands upon.
And, the qualities that the board seems to have so disparaged - the quality of flow, of lively movement, of eagerness to embrace insight from many sources rather than hewing to a strict dogma - which, Sensei, you really embody and encourage - these are the very qualities that have kept me at the dojo and so glad to be here. It took me ten years to find a dojo like this one!
So, please let me know what I can do to support you guys in this process. Letters, petitions, sit-ins, throwing of tomatoes, march on Washington - you know.... Just say the word.
yours truly,
Hello. It has been such a long while since I have logged in to see how you all are doing. As always, after catching up on the entries, life continues to be life....we are not exempt, my dear friend. You told me last Summer, "We never know what the day could bring...it can be amazing or dreadful, we must always be prepared for both." Your words walk with me daily. The challenges, up hill climbs, endless tears, exhaustion, then light heartedness, laughter, joy, and gratitude seem to be the way as one gets older and lives through more...trying to feel the feelings in order to walk through them often seems harder than just not feeling...however, occasionally, I try not to feel through the feelings and that doesn't seem to work out so well
Know that I am with you in spirit...walking the walk too, my friend.
Love and Miss You.
I have been thinking long and hard about the Gasshuku. I was finally able to get rid of my anger and disappointment when I realized that, in a very definite and absolute sense, I don't care what the 9 or 10 people on the review board think. I started practicing Aikido for ME. I still practice
for me. As I see it improve my character, and my overall worth as a parent, husband, and friend, that's all great, but I'm doing it for me. I appreciate the careful guidance and approval of Kayla Sensei and yourself, but they are bonuses, not requirements. As for the CAA, Hombu, or the specific personages of Pat, Bernice, Stephanie, etc....nope, I honestly can't find one iota of concern for what they think. If this has social or political consequences, meh. I have more than enough social and political drama in my life for any five people.
I am fully aware that I have a degree of separation and newbie-ness that makes these statements and realizations easier for me to make than they would be for you. But all the same I hope you reach some equivalent sort of satisfaction.
Because your demo was The F**king Bomb, Lower Magellenic Cloud Grade.
Despite everything, I had a great time hanging out at the Gasshuku, and truly appreciated the opportunity to spend time with everyone from the dojo, and to get to know you and Lisa a little better. I still think your response and approach to Sunday was powerful and compassionate, and worthy of as much respect as I can muster.
Dear community,
I just had the opportunity to watch the DVD of Brandon's yondan demonstration, which I was seeing for the first time (not having been to San Diego) and without the benefit of having seen his Wednesday night demo at our dojo, to which it has been compared.
The first thing I want to say is that within minutes I knew that I was watching and excellent demonstration, and any lingering shade of doubt I might have had about his performance were completely alleviated.
On Friday night, I had the chance to chat with Sensei and a few others about the experience, again without having been a participant, and mentioned a few thoughts that I would now share with you. I think this whole event is complex, obviously, and in sorting it out have divided the issues into two categories: those pertaining to the actual demonstration; and those pertaining to the larger organizational-systemic implications of the decision, and the process by which it was made. It is the former which I would address here.
I divided the issues pertaining to the demonstration into three subcategories: overall performance; clarity of execution of techniques; and style.
I have already spoken to first, in saying that my immediate impression was that this was an excellent yondan demonstration. That perception sustained throughout. If would have been proud to have done this demonstration.
It is possible, however, that one could have a very good demo, and still there could be specific issue taken with the execution of the techniques. One could, for example, have an overall level of integrated movement, flow, connectedness, timing, etc., but still show a muddiness in the specificity of technical detail. My perception of Brandon's demonstration was that this was not the case. Virtually everything I saw on the DVD looked quite clear to me. As I understand it, however, this was one of the criticisms that was offered to justify the board's denial of his rank. How to reconcile this discrepancy?
I am led to think that this can only be explained in the context of stylistic preference. If one has made the cognitive commitment to a particular style being the only right way to do something, then other stylistic variations will appear to be wrong, by definition – or "unclear", at best. One can certainly see that Brandon's demonstration did not rigidly here to the Iwama style, though it just as obviously included elements of it. From my perspective, he was able to effectively integrate elements from multiple styles without compromising the clarity of his movement. This is something I would look for, and see as a sign of mastery, at the yondan level.
It is my opinion that the exclusive commitment to a singular style is an unfortunate choice. It is certainly useful to practice within a particular approach for a period of time, until one gains a mastery of basics, in order to build a foundation. From my perspective, though, the idea of style is inherently problematic. Any of us who have seen O'Sensei films know that there is no one who has achieve his level. At best, direct students were able to grab an element or a principle that was within their reach, which they subsequently developed over years and years. Their students, imitating them, codified the principles into systems. This is all well and good, in that it facilitates learning – until the systems become dogmas. "Dogmas" means "right" and "wrong". It is a problem. What formerly enabled learning now prevents it. Too bad!
So, it seems to me that what happened here is that due to the blinders of dogma, clarity of execution got confused with style, leading to an inaccurate assessment of overall performance. It is truly unfortunate, not just for Brandon, but for all of us because the message is "Don't learn – just conform."
About the larger organizational-systemic issues, for now, all I'll say is this. I have heard several people comment on the implications of a demonstration being treated as a test. I find it quite ironic that Pat announced that it was understood that people who gave demonstrations were recommended by their Sensei's and had already achieved their ranks....
Firstly, I think it's a great idea to pass to Brandon's judges the letters and concerns of our
aikido community with respect to the 'muddy' decision they made about Brandon's yon dan demo (which wasn't a test). And I would be happy to proof read all the letters as I am sure many people wrote with their hearts and not their grammar rules in mind.
Secondly, I was reading in 'The Spirit of Aikido' recently by Kisshomaru Ueshiba and he mentioned 'take-musu', which literally means 'martial-creative'. The Founder himself spoke about this on one of my old video tapes. He said that the aim of aikido (to paraphrase) is to be able to be in a situation and respond with no preconcieved notions or ideas or techniques, but merely to respond with just what is needed in that moment.
It says alot about the judges that at the yon dan level they are still looking for basic postures and
not yet ready to nurture this creative living aspect of aikido.
For someone as effective as an aikidoka and as an instructor as Brandon has shown all of us over and over, there should be nothing but support for him to continue his practice in harmony and beauty. I am disappointed in the inner level of the judges if they are choosing to limit creativity and are adhereing to (one form of aikido) dogma.
Aikido is more than techniques, it is a way of Being and this is a really big thing and not nearly so easy to pursue or teach as mere forms. OSensei was a master of himself, not just a master of the forms. Saito Sensei himself did not grok all that O Sensei was trying to pass on. Saito Sensei helped consolidate a mass of techniques and forms, for which we are all very grateful, but he recognized that he did not 'get' the inner teachings of OSensei. I have heard it said that OSensei himself thought no one was getting this aspect, that everyone was mastering a martial art but
not getting the inner stuff about energy, kami spirits, kan (intuition), etc..this stuff that animated Ueshiba himself.
This is the way it is with all the great teachers of the world. Their teachings become divided among all those who studied with them. What was complex becomes reduced to forms and then these forms 'must be adhered to' to the exclusion of......take-musu! Therefore, what Saito gives us is a great thing but is only a part of a whole. In otherwords, there are many forms of aikido, not just Hombu style. And none are 'more legitimate' than the others.
I have the greatest of respect for the judges of Brandon and I feel sure that in their hearts they only want to be sure that the form of aikido is passed on in a 'pure' fashion as they understand it. That is their right.
However, at this point they have revealed their own limitations and I support you, Kayla Sensei, to consider relationships with other branches of the great Aikido tree. There is room on the planet to explore all the aspects OSensei passed on. Ultimately, as i understand what he said, it's about being able to master 'no-technique'...take-musu...in the moment responding. If Hombu isn't ready to pursue that even at yon don level, then we should forge our own path
The waves of life don't necessarily arise from logic; they just are. In Tsunami season, the wave draws back, back, back - scouring the sand of it's identity. But that's not the end; you know what happens next...
We want you to know that we are thinking of you and your (further) trials. How rotten (in the original sense, as well) could it be? We are so sorry that you were the locus of such a manifestation. All our best to you and Lisa.
a stray thought, the two line response to the whole "authoritarian standard vs. creative improvisation" element of the Gasshuku weekend is: What part of 'Aikido of *BERKELEY*' did they not understand? The government of the People's Republic has been pumping
non-conformity serum into the water supply for going on 40 years now.
I could not agree more with your conclusions. As one that does not see rank as having any meaning i still feel that at Brandon's level of practice and dedication (which is really all that these higher rank tests usually reflect) should deserve recognition and passage, and from what i have heard his demonstration was more interesting than any of the others. It is disrespectful to what is going on at our Dojo and the integration of styles which we enjoy. Aikido has nothing to do with rigidity and when demonstrated, such as done by the board, should remind us to always trust our own feelings and choices. Rank or no "rank" Branden is still a great Aikidoka and great teacher and that is all that really matters to me. I hope he does not waist any time and energy worrying about the boards decision.
more coming...
|
About being unpromoted from Yondan in San Diego.
The following arrived, parallel to phone calls along similar lines, by email...
Some but not all names have been removed, just because.
hard to know what else i could usefully add in written words since they are not my forte. i look foreword to the time we can speak and listen and i can share my feelings thoughts and ideas. and my experiences at ukiah aikido which i think a relevant here.
loving you
hugging you
missing you
Oy, busy you are. And sorry to hear about the "politics" (for lack of a better word) regarding your demo and test. Stressful enough as it is, without having to appeal a negative decision based on long-standing issues that's perhaps beyond your control. |
"Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low." |
Not so random musings, ascribed to O'Sensei: |
Brandon, you are undoubtedly acquainted with the song that goes "I can't give you anything but love." When a friend is in distress, I think to say "I can't give you anything but a spacious listening ear (in case that is helpful)." So, if you think it may be helpful (maybe even on the phone), by all means give me a buzz, any time. And if you think it won't be helpful, that is also OK with me, and I hereby wish you the best of luck, despite everything.
With loveYou know what I believe Brandon? It was not the time for you to be able to perform at your best. I can only look at the mental disruption I suffered for years after Brooks left. My concentration and interest in anything but reconstructing my whole life was almost zero. I know everyone has their own way of healing and you have your way. I fully believe that your heart and mind would not allow you to proceed forward in Aikido at this time. There is so much to reconstruct in your belief system and your perspective on life, in general, that no matter how hard you attempted to deflect it with other thoughts and focuses, your heart would not be drawn away from the work that has to be done.
I felt a very clear feeling the first time I saw you at the Dojo that you were a very elevated and spiritual person. It was so clear to me that I asked Kayla who you were and told her what I saw in you. She confirmed my perception. In a way, the fact that you are so evolved spiritually may make your healing different than most and maybe longer . If you are anything like I am, and was, at the beginning of my healing, some very fundamental ideals and expectations were blown to smithereens. It's the faith and belief that all things happen for a good reason that has carried me through. It is a blind and bold faith that has to ignore long ponderings and questions about everything. Eventually I believe you and I will both understand the big question.....Why. Since there is really no time in the universe, who knows when that will happen.
In my case, when I realized after years that I didn't have to know the truth about my son's departure....the why....because the trees, sky, wind, plants, wild animals all know....God knows.......the truth is very well known......when I need to know I will know. The same is true for you and your wife. You will know and understand when it's appropriate... no sooner, no later. I believe that just as this loss is the worst trajedy a parent can endure, it's also the supreme gift of all. The day Brooks died I had feelings that ranged from complete and utter implosion to a feeling of absolute honor and awe. I was so sad that I couldn't be there with him at this poignant time in his life, but I knew he was a very strong man who preferred it that way. I wouldn't be able to tell him how much I loved him or goodbye. That's a seering pain that is still healing.
Aidan's photo is on Brook's photo in my home. I think of him every day and have asked Brooks to be there for Aidan. I believe he is.
In reality, the way things went last weekend with your test is very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When you have healed sufficiently, you will move forward. Keep going Brandon. "Never, never, never give up". Continuing to live, grow, understand and accept is the lesson. It's easy to do when you aren't dealing with a loss like this. Now is your real test, not last weekend. You are a tremendous example for your son and anyone who knows you. We need you here. Grieve, love, and thrive. Love,
My dear Brandon;
Glad to capture the two Yondon demos on video in San Diego. After your stunning demo, the next guy's looked like a first Ku test. Anyone is welcome to view the demos on DVD and decide for themselves.
I also recorded the head Sensei stating that you had both been granted the yondon rank prior to the demos.
This was a set-up and you got caught in Iwama-style politics. These wrist-twist folk are not the living, loving Aikido I signed up for in Shingu at the World Aikido Dojo of Hikitsuchi Sensei (10th Dan) where I have been a member since 1988.
I will be delighted to receive instruction from you upon your return to the loving space of
Aikido of Berkeley Dojo, where honor is given to O Sensei's statement: "May the fearful wrath of my opponent be turned into harmless laughter."
And so may you, my dear Sempai, continue to teach a loving, laughing Aikido to a world so obviously in need of transcending our constriction.
Hi Sensei -I am sure you are all still overwhelmed by the crazy blow of what happened down in San Diego with Brandon's demo. My jaw certainly hit the floor! So I wanted to put out there, for the record, how I felt hearing about it. (and Brandon, don't get all shy; I'm going to say nice things here ;)
I have to say that I think Brandon's response to this phenomenally unfair turn of events was so courageous, so full of class and grace, and so exemplifying of the highest ideals of aikido that I think he should be promoted TWO levels, not just the one. And I'm not being facetious. This was a life-size randori of extraordinary proportions (to say nothing of the chaos practice of life in general!) and he handled the assault of it with such openheartedness and wholly undeserved generosity of spirit. To get back on the mat and engage with such grace and presence; it was a rare and truly admirable thing.
And furthermore, as I understand it, these are the essential issues one looks for in evaluating depth of understanding at this level of aikido, not the technicalities of how you step or how you hold your arm that the panel seems to have gotten so worked up over.
I also want to put out there how very much I appreciate his contribution to the dojo. Not only do I appreciate the patience, clarity, sensitiveness and nuance of his teaching and training, but I really find it transformative just to be on the mat with him. The quality of presence and mindfulness that he works hard to bring has been really healing for me personally in terms of training through not only the moves of aikido itself, but the deeper emotional and interpersonal issues that the training stands upon.
And, the qualities that the board seems to have so disparaged - the quality of flow, of lively movement, of eagerness to embrace insight from many sources rather than hewing to a strict dogma - which, Sensei, you really embody and encourage - these are the very qualities that have kept me at the dojo and so glad to be here. It took me ten years to find a dojo like this one!
So, please let me know what I can do to support you guys in this process. Letters, petitions, sit-ins, throwing of tomatoes, march on Washington - you know.... Just say the word.
yours truly,
Hello. It has been such a long while since I have logged in to see how you all are doing. As always, after catching up on the entries, life continues to be life....we are not exempt, my dear friend. You told me last Summer, "We never know what the day could bring...it can be amazing or dreadful, we must always be prepared for both." Your words walk with me daily. The challenges, up hill climbs, endless tears, exhaustion, then light heartedness, laughter, joy, and gratitude seem to be the way as one gets older and lives through more...trying to feel the feelings in order to walk through them often seems harder than just not feeling...however, occasionally, I try not to feel through the feelings and that doesn't seem to work out so well
Know that I am with you in spirit...walking the walk too, my friend.Love and Miss You.
I have been thinking long and hard about the Gasshuku. I was finally able to get rid of my anger and disappointment when I realized that, in a very definite and absolute sense, I don't care what the 9 or 10 people on the review board think. I started practicing Aikido for ME. I still practice
for me. As I see it improve my character, and my overall worth as a parent, husband, and friend, that's all great, but I'm doing it for me. I appreciate the careful guidance and approval of Kayla Sensei and yourself, but they are bonuses, not requirements. As for the CAA, Hombu, or the specific personages of Pat, Bernice, Stephanie, etc....nope, I honestly can't find one iota of concern for what they think. If this has social or political consequences, meh. I have more than enough social and political drama in my life for any five people.
I am fully aware that I have a degree of separation and newbie-ness that makes these statements and realizations easier for me to make than they would be for you. But all the same I hope you reach some equivalent sort of satisfaction.
Because your demo was The F**king Bomb, Lower Magellenic Cloud Grade.
Despite everything, I had a great time hanging out at the Gasshuku, and truly appreciated the opportunity to spend time with everyone from the dojo, and to get to know you and Lisa a little better. I still think your response and approach to Sunday was powerful and compassionate, and worthy of as much respect as I can muster.
Dear Brandon,
I usually don't get involved in these discussions, but all I can say is Ahhh- politics.
I still love Aikido and miss training and am trying to figure out how to fit it in.
Hope you continue to train and enjoy Aikido with detachment.
Your friend,
Dear community,
I just had the opportunity to watch the DVD of Brandon's yondan demonstration, which I was seeing for the first time (not having been to San Diego) and without the benefit of having seen his Wednesday night demo at our dojo, to which it has been compared.
The first thing I want to say is that within minutes I knew that I was watching and excellent demonstration, and any lingering shade of doubt I might have had about his performance were completely alleviated.
On Friday night, I had the chance to chat with Sensei and a few others about the experience, again without having been a participant, and mentioned a few thoughts that I would now share with you. I think this whole event is complex, obviously, and in sorting it out have divided the issues into two categories: those pertaining to the actual demonstration; and those pertaining to the larger organizational-systemic implications of the decision, and the process by which it was made. It is the former which I would address here.
I divided the issues pertaining to the demonstration into three subcategories: overall performance; clarity of execution of techniques; and style.
I have already spoken to first, in saying that my immediate impression was that this was an excellent yondan demonstration. That perception sustained throughout. If would have been proud to have done this demonstration.
It is possible, however, that one could have a very good demo, and still there could be specific issue taken with the execution of the techniques. One could, for example, have an overall level of integrated movement, flow, connectedness, timing, etc., but still show a muddiness in the specificity of technical detail. My perception of Brandon's demonstration was that this was not the case. Virtually everything I saw on the DVD looked quite clear to me. As I understand it, however, this was one of the criticisms that was offered to justify the board's denial of his rank. How to reconcile this discrepancy?
I am led to think that this can only be explained in the context of stylistic preference. If one has made the cognitive commitment to a particular style being the only right way to do something, then other stylistic variations will appear to be wrong, by definition – or "unclear", at best. One can certainly see that Brandon's demonstration did not rigidly here to the Iwama style, though it just as obviously included elements of it. From my perspective, he was able to effectively integrate elements from multiple styles without compromising the clarity of his movement. This is something I would look for, and see as a sign of mastery, at the yondan level.
It is my opinion that the exclusive commitment to a singular style is an unfortunate choice. It is certainly useful to practice within a particular approach for a period of time, until one gains a mastery of basics, in order to build a foundation. From my perspective, though, the idea of style is inherently problematic. Any of us who have seen O'Sensei films know that there is no one who has achieve his level. At best, direct students were able to grab an element or a principle that was within their reach, which they subsequently developed over years and years. Their students, imitating them, codified the principles into systems. This is all well and good, in that it facilitates learning – until the systems become dogmas. "Dogmas" means "right" and "wrong". It is a problem. What formerly enabled learning now prevents it. Too bad!
So, it seems to me that what happened here is that due to the blinders of dogma, clarity of execution got confused with style, leading to an inaccurate assessment of overall performance. It is truly unfortunate, not just for Brandon, but for all of us because the message is "Don't learn – just conform."
About the larger organizational-systemic issues, for now, all I'll say is this. I have heard several people comment on the implications of a demonstration being treated as a test. I find it quite ironic that Pat announced that it was understood that people who gave demonstrations were recommended by their Sensei's and had already achieved their ranks....
Firstly, I think it's a great idea to pass to Brandon's judges the letters and concerns of our
aikido community with respect to the 'muddy' decision they made about Brandon's yon dan demo (which wasn't a test). And I would be happy to proof read all the letters as I am sure many people wrote with their hearts and not their grammar rules in mind.
Secondly, I was reading in 'The Spirit of Aikido' recently by Kisshomaru Ueshiba and he mentioned 'take-musu', which literally means 'martial-creative'. The Founder himself spoke about this on one of my old video tapes. He said that the aim of aikido (to paraphrase) is to be able to be in a situation and respond with no preconcieved notions or ideas or techniques, but merely to respond with just what is needed in that moment.
It says alot about the judges that at the yon dan level they are still looking for basic postures and
not yet ready to nurture this creative living aspect of aikido.
For someone as effective as an aikidoka and as an instructor as Brandon has shown all of us over and over, there should be nothing but support for him to continue his practice in harmony and beauty. I am disappointed in the inner level of the judges if they are choosing to limit creativity and are adhereing to (one form of aikido) dogma.
Aikido is more than techniques, it is a way of Being and this is a really big thing and not nearly so easy to pursue or teach as mere forms. OSensei was a master of himself, not just a master of the forms. Saito Sensei himself did not grok all that O Sensei was trying to pass on. Saito Sensei helped consolidate a mass of techniques and forms, for which we are all very grateful, but he recognized that he did not 'get' the inner teachings of OSensei. I have heard it said that OSensei himself thought no one was getting this aspect, that everyone was mastering a martial art but
not getting the inner stuff about energy, kami spirits, kan (intuition), etc..this stuff that animated Ueshiba himself.
This is the way it is with all the great teachers of the world. Their teachings become divided among all those who studied with them. What was complex becomes reduced to forms and then these forms 'must be adhered to' to the exclusion of......take-musu! Therefore, what Saito gives us is a great thing but is only a part of a whole. In otherwords, there are many forms of aikido, not just Hombu style. And none are 'more legitimate' than the others.
I have the greatest of respect for the judges of Brandon and I feel sure that in their hearts they only want to be sure that the form of aikido is passed on in a 'pure' fashion as they understand it. That is their right.
However, at this point they have revealed their own limitations and I support you, Kayla Sensei, to consider relationships with other branches of the great Aikido tree. There is room on the planet to explore all the aspects OSensei passed on. Ultimately, as i understand what he said, it's about being able to master 'no-technique'...take-musu...in the moment responding. If Hombu isn't ready to pursue that even at yon don level, then we should forge our own path
and relationships to discover the greater depths of OSensei's great teaching of peace, unity and harmony on the planet.
I remember about 30 years ago I was coming home from a trip to Hawaii. I was at the Hawaiian customs in the airport and they were looking through my bokken bag at a small tree, more of a stick really, I had pulled out of the ground...a beautiful piece of dead hardwood...by the way, they don't like people removing stuff from the Islands...then he saw my bokken in the bag and asked what it was. I told him I trained in aikido. Without hestiation, he closed my bag and waved
me on. This showed me the great unity of spirit that prevades (or can prevade) the aikido community around the world.
I am way looking forward to training again with Brandon san and I have little doubt that even though they 'took away' his yon dan, that this whole experience has brought much light to something that needs to be examined and that he and we will only grow from this experience.
With respect,
I remember about 30 years ago I was coming home from a trip to Hawaii. I was at the Hawaiian customs in the airport and they were looking through my bokken bag at a small tree, more of a stick really, I had pulled out of the ground...a beautiful piece of dead hardwood...by the way, they don't like people removing stuff from the Islands...then he saw my bokken in the bag and asked what it was. I told him I trained in aikido. Without hestiation, he closed my bag and waved
me on. This showed me the great unity of spirit that prevades (or can prevade) the aikido community around the world.
I am way looking forward to training again with Brandon san and I have little doubt that even though they 'took away' his yon dan, that this whole experience has brought much light to something that needs to be examined and that he and we will only grow from this experience.
With respect,
The waves of life don't necessarily arise from logic; they just are. In Tsunami season, the wave draws back, back, back - scouring the sand of it's identity. But that's not the end; you know what happens next...
We want you to know that we are thinking of you and your (further) trials. How rotten (in the original sense, as well) could it be? We are so sorry that you were the locus of such a manifestation. All our best to you and Lisa.
a stray thought, the two line response to the whole "authoritarian standard vs. creative improvisation" element of the Gasshuku weekend is: What part of 'Aikido of *BERKELEY*' did they not understand? The government of the People's Republic has been pumpingnon-conformity serum into the water supply for going on 40 years now.
Hello my fellow aikidoka,
I write this email for two reasons. First, to ask a few (possibly rhetorical) questions about certain
aspects of aikido, given the CAA Division 1 Board’s decision not to grant 4th Dan to Brandon Sempai after his demonstration. Second, to express my support and appreciation for Kayla Sensei and Brandon Sempai for all the work they do as instructors and as examples of dedication, kindheartedness and generosity of spirit in the greater aikido community. I also want to recognize Lisa's support of Brandon in his dedication to the practice of aikido and to Kayla Sensei's dojo.
Before I get into the heart of this email, I'd first like to disclose (for those who don't know me) the perspectives that inform my thought process. My husband and the father of our now 6-month-old daughter is Nick Walker Sensei, dojo cho of Aikido Shusekai - an independent dojo. (He has been friends with Brandon longer than I've practiced Aikido, and will be posting his thoughts on the matter in his own response to this listserv.) I have chosen to practice Aikido
because I feel it is consistent with my path in this lifetime: to me, it is yet another tool with which I can transform my own suffering and polish my spirit and soul. (And the reason I do not practice at Nick’s dojo is because I do not accept instructions well from him. When I asked him for a referral at the point that I stopped practicing in his dojo, he highly recommended Kayla Sensei.)
So:
While I did not attend the San Diego demonstration, I did attend the Berkeley demonstration on the Wednesday night prior. Brandon’s aikido Wednesday appeared highly effective, deeply graceful, clean, sharp, and all of his ukes walked away from the demo unharmed and smiling, like they had a great time. So it was with great shock and dismay that I first heard the news that the board of CAA Division 1 decided not to grant 4th Dan to Brandon Sempai.
On its face, the decision appeared arbitrary and senseless, because I’ve seen both Brandon’s execution of techniques and the effect of his aikido both on and off the mat for several years now. In an attempt to try and imagine the rationale for such a decision, I used irimi/tenkan on the non-physical plane. Perhaps Brandon had not ‘performed’ as well as he had Wednesday night? (Brandon’s aikido on a not-so-good day is still pretty darn good...hmm.) Perhaps the
Board was looking for something specific that Brandon just was completely unable to execute? Had he hurt someone? What could it have been? Since I am not a Sensei, nor am I a member of the Board, I initially found this a fruitless exercise.
Well, not completely fruitless... my attempt at irimi/tenkan eventually led me to questions about
standards. In posing the following questions, it is not my intent to provoke ill will; rather, here is
where I incorporate a Buddhist perspective. Can I approach with curiosity and equanimity anything that arises in my practice, even when there's a 'charge' or strong feeling on said topic or subject? Perhaps the following questions could be considered food for thought or for conversation later among our dojo members:
It is my sincere hope that the Board’s decision was not a retaliation toward either Kayla Sensei or Brandon Sempai for leaning toward the experimental in the evolution of their respective practices. I would be deeply disappointed if the Board’s decision occurred as a result of Brandon’s aikido not fitting someone else’s traditional ‘filters’ of what is/isn’t ‘their’ aikido.
My view of aikido is similar to that of my view as a mental health professional: there is no one
(therapeutic) style or technique that fits all ‘problems’; some styles or techniques are more or less effective than others depending with whom I work, and it’s worth experimenting to find out and evolve as a practitioner. I would hate to see negative ramifications for anyone experimenting with their aikido; it is part of what makes the art come alive for me, and what inspires me to want to practice at this dojo (and visit Nick’s dojo). I have enjoyed practicing with Kayla Sensei for as long as I've been a member of her dojo, very much due to her openness on and off the mat.
As I'm working full-time, breastfeeding full-time, and sharing caregiving duties of a 6 month old with Nick, I am much more selective in the uses of my time if it’s not related to sleep or food. I plan to return to practice at Aikido of Berkeley, and am looking forward to visiting other dojos when such occasions arise. However, as an adult with the freedom to choose how I spend my time and resources, I do not plan to attend CAA Division 1 events, because at this point I’m just not inspired to do so.
While it may demonstrate some hubris on my part to say this, I hold the perspective that Brandon Sempai is a 4th dan in our dojo, regardless of what the CAA Division 1 Board says. I base this on having practiced since 2003 in the dojo, and borne witness to the effect of Brandon’s aikido both on and off the mat. Aside from the solidity of Brandon's practice of Aikido techniques, the content of Brandon’s character – his demonstration of honor, integrity, respect for others, self-discipline, dedication, and role-modeling – has been consistent and reliable both on and off the mat. I also hold the perspective that there is no rank – military, martial arts, or otherwise – that adequately or accurately reflects the degree to which any human being endures great sorrow, pain, or disrespect, yet does not project their suffering onto other beings. So to me, Brandon is both 4th Dan and simultaneously needs no rank recognition.
Last, but certainly not least: What is most notable about the events during the CAA weekend is that despite not having been granted a higher rank just after his demonstration (I feel that both Kayla Sensei and Brandon Sempai were greatly disrespected by the members of the Board in this matter) – it appeared from Brandon’s online journal entry that he 1) didn’t walk out in a huff, 2) still chose to practice on the mat anyway, and 3) did so without a sense of retaliation or vengeance and WITH a high level of honor and integrity – in keeping with the one of the major intents of aikido. (Personally, I think Brandon should’ve gotten the 4th Dan for that alone.) It is
my understanding that Kayla Sensei and other members of our dojo who were present chose to respond to such shocking and disheartening news in the same manner.
Now THAT’s the kind of aikido I want to practice, and it’s also the kind of aikido I want my child to witness as she grows.
See you on the mat Tuesday (tomorrow) night. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, Nick Walker Sensei, our 6 month old daughter, and I will be there.
Much love to all,
Leslie
I write this email for two reasons. First, to ask a few (possibly rhetorical) questions about certain
aspects of aikido, given the CAA Division 1 Board’s decision not to grant 4th Dan to Brandon Sempai after his demonstration. Second, to express my support and appreciation for Kayla Sensei and Brandon Sempai for all the work they do as instructors and as examples of dedication, kindheartedness and generosity of spirit in the greater aikido community. I also want to recognize Lisa's support of Brandon in his dedication to the practice of aikido and to Kayla Sensei's dojo.
Before I get into the heart of this email, I'd first like to disclose (for those who don't know me) the perspectives that inform my thought process. My husband and the father of our now 6-month-old daughter is Nick Walker Sensei, dojo cho of Aikido Shusekai - an independent dojo. (He has been friends with Brandon longer than I've practiced Aikido, and will be posting his thoughts on the matter in his own response to this listserv.) I have chosen to practice Aikido
because I feel it is consistent with my path in this lifetime: to me, it is yet another tool with which I can transform my own suffering and polish my spirit and soul. (And the reason I do not practice at Nick’s dojo is because I do not accept instructions well from him. When I asked him for a referral at the point that I stopped practicing in his dojo, he highly recommended Kayla Sensei.)
So:
While I did not attend the San Diego demonstration, I did attend the Berkeley demonstration on the Wednesday night prior. Brandon’s aikido Wednesday appeared highly effective, deeply graceful, clean, sharp, and all of his ukes walked away from the demo unharmed and smiling, like they had a great time. So it was with great shock and dismay that I first heard the news that the board of CAA Division 1 decided not to grant 4th Dan to Brandon Sempai.
On its face, the decision appeared arbitrary and senseless, because I’ve seen both Brandon’s execution of techniques and the effect of his aikido both on and off the mat for several years now. In an attempt to try and imagine the rationale for such a decision, I used irimi/tenkan on the non-physical plane. Perhaps Brandon had not ‘performed’ as well as he had Wednesday night? (Brandon’s aikido on a not-so-good day is still pretty darn good...hmm.) Perhaps the
Board was looking for something specific that Brandon just was completely unable to execute? Had he hurt someone? What could it have been? Since I am not a Sensei, nor am I a member of the Board, I initially found this a fruitless exercise.
Well, not completely fruitless... my attempt at irimi/tenkan eventually led me to questions about
standards. In posing the following questions, it is not my intent to provoke ill will; rather, here is
where I incorporate a Buddhist perspective. Can I approach with curiosity and equanimity anything that arises in my practice, even when there's a 'charge' or strong feeling on said topic or subject? Perhaps the following questions could be considered food for thought or for conversation later among our dojo members:
- What standards, if any, are provided in written form that describe the expectations of what needs to be demonstrated for each of the dan ranks, up to 10th Dan?
- What opportunity is there, if any, for any given Board member to practice with higher ranking dan candidates in order to review specific strengths and concerns – such that a candidate can address concerns prior to a formal demonstration?
- In what ways, if at all, may higher ranking dan candidates express the evolution of their aikido (such that basic techniques may not be seen by the naked eye, or may be discarded because they’re not as effective as another type of technique, or techniques from other styles incorporated, etc.)?
- What measures exist, if any, to evaluate the effect of a candidate’s aikido on other people as part of acquiring higher dan ranks?
- If there are no set standards for the promotion to higher dan levels, then on what evidence do Board members rely upon to make decisions to grant higher dan levels - which are fair and consistent across candidates?
- If there are no set standards for the promotion to higher dan levels, then what is the purpose of pursuing such levels in the first place?
- How can we support our Sensei/Dojo Cho and Sempai given the current circumstances (and with their consent)?
It is my sincere hope that the Board’s decision was not a retaliation toward either Kayla Sensei or Brandon Sempai for leaning toward the experimental in the evolution of their respective practices. I would be deeply disappointed if the Board’s decision occurred as a result of Brandon’s aikido not fitting someone else’s traditional ‘filters’ of what is/isn’t ‘their’ aikido.
My view of aikido is similar to that of my view as a mental health professional: there is no one
(therapeutic) style or technique that fits all ‘problems’; some styles or techniques are more or less effective than others depending with whom I work, and it’s worth experimenting to find out and evolve as a practitioner. I would hate to see negative ramifications for anyone experimenting with their aikido; it is part of what makes the art come alive for me, and what inspires me to want to practice at this dojo (and visit Nick’s dojo). I have enjoyed practicing with Kayla Sensei for as long as I've been a member of her dojo, very much due to her openness on and off the mat.
As I'm working full-time, breastfeeding full-time, and sharing caregiving duties of a 6 month old with Nick, I am much more selective in the uses of my time if it’s not related to sleep or food. I plan to return to practice at Aikido of Berkeley, and am looking forward to visiting other dojos when such occasions arise. However, as an adult with the freedom to choose how I spend my time and resources, I do not plan to attend CAA Division 1 events, because at this point I’m just not inspired to do so.
While it may demonstrate some hubris on my part to say this, I hold the perspective that Brandon Sempai is a 4th dan in our dojo, regardless of what the CAA Division 1 Board says. I base this on having practiced since 2003 in the dojo, and borne witness to the effect of Brandon’s aikido both on and off the mat. Aside from the solidity of Brandon's practice of Aikido techniques, the content of Brandon’s character – his demonstration of honor, integrity, respect for others, self-discipline, dedication, and role-modeling – has been consistent and reliable both on and off the mat. I also hold the perspective that there is no rank – military, martial arts, or otherwise – that adequately or accurately reflects the degree to which any human being endures great sorrow, pain, or disrespect, yet does not project their suffering onto other beings. So to me, Brandon is both 4th Dan and simultaneously needs no rank recognition.
Last, but certainly not least: What is most notable about the events during the CAA weekend is that despite not having been granted a higher rank just after his demonstration (I feel that both Kayla Sensei and Brandon Sempai were greatly disrespected by the members of the Board in this matter) – it appeared from Brandon’s online journal entry that he 1) didn’t walk out in a huff, 2) still chose to practice on the mat anyway, and 3) did so without a sense of retaliation or vengeance and WITH a high level of honor and integrity – in keeping with the one of the major intents of aikido. (Personally, I think Brandon should’ve gotten the 4th Dan for that alone.) It is
my understanding that Kayla Sensei and other members of our dojo who were present chose to respond to such shocking and disheartening news in the same manner.
Now THAT’s the kind of aikido I want to practice, and it’s also the kind of aikido I want my child to witness as she grows.
See you on the mat Tuesday (tomorrow) night. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, Nick Walker Sensei, our 6 month old daughter, and I will be there.
Much love to all,
Leslie
I could not agree more with your conclusions. As one that does not see rank as having any meaning i still feel that at Brandon's level of practice and dedication (which is really all that these higher rank tests usually reflect) should deserve recognition and passage, and from what i have heard his demonstration was more interesting than any of the others. It is disrespectful to what is going on at our Dojo and the integration of styles which we enjoy. Aikido has nothing to do with rigidity and when demonstrated, such as done by the board, should remind us to always trust our own feelings and choices. Rank or no "rank" Branden is still a great Aikidoka and great teacher and that is all that really matters to me. I hope he does not waist any time and energy worrying about the boards decision.
I completely agree with your comments. Having said that I recall what my Sensei once told me, which is that people should train for rank to give themselves a goal and improve themselves and also to inspire other people. Brandon certainly has done both!
Belonging to organizaions always has good and bad aspects--they have to be weighed carefully. I admire Brandon for continuing to train even in the face of not having been promoted. Blending with adversity seems like the very essence of Aikido. Brandon's behavior shows what an outstanding Aikidoka he really is.
more coming...
Labels: Aikido, bdwc, CAA, conflict
| posted by Unknown @ 6/02/2007 11:07:00 PM
